“Feel the Fear (And Do It Anyway)” by Susan Jeffers

I’m not real crazy about self-help books. I find them oversimplified, often preachy. But, when I came across a twenty-fifth anniversary copy of FEEL THE FEAR and saw that it was published in 2012 (the year of Dr. Susan Jeffers’ death), making the book thirty-two years old and, according to several sources, still going strong, I re-visited why I loved it.

When I was in my thirties and forties, fear lived in me, a hungry demon, ready to snatch and chew on anything threatening—professional presentations and workshops, decisions about where to go and what to do next, the anticipation of meeting with clients who I knew were narcissistically nasty and would goad me. Fear kept me awake at night, dreading the morning’s challenges, dreading being too tired, which, of course, kept me awake even more.

Ed calls me “the Princess and the Pea”, based on the children’s story in which a princess lies on layers and layers of blankets and covers and is still distressed by the feel of one small pea under all those layers. One good thing about being the Princess and the Pea is that my kind of princess abhors not only physical discomfort, but emotional pain, including fear, to the extent that I’ll work my patootie off not to feel it. And working hard, using resources like FEEL THE FEAR (And Do It Anyway) yields results.

“I will always feel fear if I want to grow,” I’d declare at stop lights, driving to workshops I’d designed and was scheduled to present, and, then, “The only way to get rid of the fear is to go out and do it!” The “Fear Truths”, as Dr. Jeffers called them, became mantras. The first one gave me permission to feel. The second one gave me concrete instructions. It worked.

I didn’t stop being afraid, just as Dr. Jeffers predicted. I did learn to “do it anyway” and to reap the benefits—the satisfaction of trying and succeeding at something new, the lessening of fear in situations I “conquered”, the confidence that I could keep on being scared and keep on doing it anyway, over and over and over.

A woman about my age, whom I read about in a review, said she hesitated to suggest FEEL THE FEAR to the twenty-something daughter of a friend who was preparing for a public appearance. She was afraid the book might seem old fogey boring. When she did finally suggest it, the young woman reached in her backpack, pulled out a copy of the book, and told the older woman, “It saves my life. Everyday.”

FEEL THE FEAR is a lifesaver. Rest In Peace, Dr. Susan Jeffers. Thank you.

#